Mea Culpa

I feel like lately

we are coming home in the dark—not because it is the winter time;

but because the light is sparse

Maybe it’s because we are too close

we’ve grown apart

Or maybe it is because we live in a smaller space

It has constricted our hearts

But truly

I know the reasons I give are false

Because I am trying to protect myself

from demons that don’t exist

And it’s my fault

I never wanted you to feel as if

you wine and dine,

then throw your pearls before the swine

but—that is how it is

Or at least… that must be what it feels like when I treat you the way I do

I always used to want to make you proud

to love you and lift you up

sing your praises—our praises—loud!

But lately this weight around my ankle is pulling us both down

and if I let you go

I’ll surely drown…

It was not my intention to hurt you

But I did

and you know where they say those roads lead

and what they’re paved with

I reminded you of your past

and my behaviours I hope you will forgive

because I want to make amends

want us to truly live

This is our present, with a chance for me to give

to set our eyes on a brighter future

and for you to never have to hear again

…Mea Culpa